Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Me + Blog = ?

Sometimes I wonder whether my blog reflects my true potential. I like to think I can "write" (write what?) but when it comes down to it, it takes an awful lot to get me started (well, if a school deadline can be considered 'an awful lot'). Often times I'll come up with blogging ideas that never come to fruition - they just stay in my head, partially formed, half-ideas really. Sometimes (read - lately) I'll avoid my blog altogether for days on end because I feel guilty for *not* writing in it. I like to tell myself that its because I'm too busy living Real Life to write in my "stupid blog" but the real reason might just be plain old laziness (it certainly wouldn't be the first instance).

And sometimes I realize the limits of this particular blog - sometimes I want to write things that are really personal, but I don't want to do it in a forum where people who know me will read it. Which makes me think I should have multiple blogs... but when I can barely keep this one going, is there any point? I used to "blog" (I would have called it journaling though) at least a few times a week about what was going on in my life. I still have five years worth of those posts. I rarely read them, but I like to know that they're still there, that they exist, that my memories are in a tangible format and I can go back and check the details of things I've started to forget.

But back to the idea of whether one's blog reflects one's true potential. Some of the people I know are prolific bloggers (does this reflect their innate genius, their better work-ethic, or their admirable supply of post ideas?) and others can barely post once a month. If a blog is a way of putting one's opinion out there for the world to see, I'm not really doing a great job of it. At the same time, I like to think that this blog is mostly for me - just a little pretty website for me to record my random thoughts (or rants, as it mostly happens). I'm not in competition with anyone and no one is grading this blog (judging maybe, but that's doubtful, and if so, do I really care?). Whether I write in it or not - will it matter in the grand scheme of things? And if the "scheme" of things is essentially just life - my life - then maybe if I want to write, I should be writing something more thought out, like an essay, or a journal with a specific theme, or a story, or even a book. In the long run, I might end up with more to show for it then just a blog full of scattered thoughts.

(And while I'm at it, have you ever noticed how many bloggers end up blogging about not blogging?)

9 comments:

Elliot said...

C minus!!

:-) I like your bolg. I mean blog.

this single spark said...

That's why I have two. One is a "hey, people who know me, this is what's going in my life" blog. The other is pseudo-eco, since the environment is something I think about and try to live in harmony with, to greater and lesser degrees of success.

That said, I've barely managed any posts on either in the last, oh, five months.

Dunno...

fakeplasticstars said...

be brave and post the personal stuff. otherwise, what's the point? i might as well be reading random stuff anyone wrote. people should write their journals as a real narrative, not as though they're journalists! sigh.

fakeplasticstars said...

also, i would suggest not 'writing for the public.' (which is easily detectable in the style of most blogs and in my not so humble opinion really annoying.) it's more interesting if you put your fragmented, rambling or intimate thoughts, not what you thought about some movie or the like... that stuff we get in everyday boring conversations. so -- despite my crudity -- agree?

Clemens said...

I had two blogs - one (Sententiae) was going to be for my opinions on politics, history, and anything else. It started out too self-conscious. The other (Not Mayberry) was going to be all about the town and county I am living in now. I used different names and everything, thinking that one or the other could be very personal.

Then blogger connected both of them and dropped Oscar B. Lykes, the nom de blog of Not Mayberry! Then I told too many of my friends and relatives about them! It got worse - I began to consider the opinions of people I had met through the comments! (e.g. Elliot and you).

You have repeated most of the problems I have thought of as I blog. Just have to open up a new one with a new e-persona and start with the personal stuff. You know, the stuff that could get you arrested (or at least shunned at university).

Anactoria said...

Thanks, Elliot! :)
I like your bolg too! Its so... bolgey! :P

Anactoria said...

"i might as well be reading random stuff anyone wrote. people should write their journals as a real narrative, not as though they're journalists!"

Well, I don't want to sound like a pseudo-journalist. But I like the random stuff. I think that's all I'm capable, or willing, to put up in this forum for now...

Anactoria said...

Clemens - I can't believe Blogger linked them up! Maybe because you'd used the same email address for both? Still, they shouldn't have done that! I have a 2nd one (I think... if it still exists...) but I must have signed it up with a different email because it hasn't been linked to this one yet, thankgoodness.

Yeah, the second, totally private one is really the only doable thing for me. I've even had ideas of creating some "fake" journals where all I do is write as a persona - someone completely not me, living a different life. But again - laziness is a curse!

Clemens said...

Hmm. I like the idea of creating a totally new persona. Of course, we do that a bit as our own selves. Clemens, in any case, is not entirely the same persona as the person who created him. There was a Portuguese poet, Fernando Pessoa, who created dozens of heteronyms, each a distinct personality, some writing in English or French rather than Portuguese. More remarkably, each had a distinctive voice that differed from that of Pessoa when he wrote as himself. Very odd, but fascinating stuff.

And, Blogger really did merge the two. It was when I transferred over to the new Blogger (remember that era?). I have an infinite capacity for fouling up anything invented after 1949 for some reason. I have a family blog, mainly for my brothers and sisters, which is not linked in any way to the stuff Clemens does. And I am thinking of taking your advice and using a different e-mail for a 'secret' blog.

Thanks.